ic contact

[adamantlyardent]

audio, video, text, voicemail

Comments

[adamantlyardent]

[:(...]

That's dreadful. I'm--I'm very sorry, Riptide. Truly. To have experienced so much loss is abysmal and...and I wish it wasn't a fate you'd have had to endure at all. You or your friends. I'm, uh. Well. Nothing I've seen or done compares at all, so maybe...saying any of that seems kind of pointless? Or just naive, I, I don't know. Sorry. Words.

1/2

[knaval]

I don't even know why I'm telling you all this! What next? I'm gonna admit I kinda liked all of them?!

[knaval]

...

[he just donks his forehead onto the table.]

[adamantlyardent]

[she winces at the gentle donk-sound, chewing on her lip. she reaches over to pat his head again, but quickly thinks better of it, withdrawing.]

...Um. Want some tea? I can make tea.

[knaval]

[muffled:] Please. Do you have booze? Put booze in it.

[adamantlyardent]

[she pauses halfway up out of her seat to think about that.]


Uhhh...I...I don't know? I don't think so. I'd have to look. But, uh...there's honey? Do you like honey?

[knaval]

Yeah.

Just dunk a load of it in there. Ugh. God. I never got to tell any of them...!

[adamantlyardent]

[she hastens to fetch the honey as well as the tea box from a cupboard, setting up over at the stove with the kettle.

after a beat of this business:]

...Would writing it out help at all? The things you wanted to say, I mean. I know it doesn't seem sensible, considering that they're...y'know. But! But...I mean, for me, whenever I've had such things weighing on me I couldn't get out anywhere else, I'd...I'd write it all down. And it helped.

It's part of why I write so much. Sometimes I just...need it out there somewhere. Not even read, because gods, I'm an embarrassment? But just...out of me.

[...]

I hear similar effects can come from screaming into cushions, but I never took to that one. I get powder everywhere.

[knaval]

I--

[see, his initial instinct is to reject the idea of writing anything out at all, but he stops himself. he frowns.]

--Could try? [he makes a face.] I don't think they make pillows big enough for me to scream into.

[adamantlyardent]

[snort.] Yeah, no, you'd have to stick to a more human-sized state for that one.

[she fetches mugs, having to roll up on her toes to reach them with a little grunt. there.]

But really. If you find any benefit of this tutoring? Perhaps that'll be it. A means to...just blowing off some steam in a way that's just your own. You can even crumple it up or throw it away when you're done; I've sometimes burned pages out. Keeping it isn't the point, after all.

[knaval]

No-- you're right. I should try it.

[he sighs, tearing the page off he'd been writing on and opening up a new one. taps his pen on it.]

...I don't know what to write.

[adamantlyardent]

[she looks over her shoulder to see this, feeling a little blip of pride mixed in with pity. looking back to the oven in some effort to give him privacy:] Then write that. Sometimes...even that's a start, and you discover that the words and shapes that follow happen beyond your own waking thought. Like...like the spirit of you moving ahead of your hands and eyes.

[knaval]

[he frowns -- he doesn't really get it, but starts writing after a few moments in neocybex instead of english. or... whatever language they're speaking now. it likely just looks like a lot of odd lines and symbols on the paper to cecelia, but if her translator lets her read it-- all he's done is note down what he wanted to show to pipes in the lost light.]

[adamantlyardent]

[gods forbid! Cecelia knows journaling is private and practically sacred...to her, anyway. she extends that reverence to him, too, who is so plainly messed up about his lost friends. and why wouldn't he? she won't blame him a bit.

instead, she keeps any musings on the curious shapes appearing on his page and pointedly averts her eyes when bringing over the fresh cup.]

I put two dollops of honey in there. Give it a taste, let me know if you need more.

[knaval]

[he just takes a huge mouthful.]

It's nice. Thanks. [the saddest thank you ever.] I don't even know why I told you all that. Four million years of losing people and I should be used to it. My second memory is literally watching a team mate being blown up!

[adamantlyardent]

I'm...not sure anyone ought to be used to it, no matter how long? But. I mean--you're the zillion-year old one; I'm just seventeen. [she shrugs, mouth tugging on one side.]

But. Don't worry? At least, in the telling-me regard, since...I'm not going to go around blabbing your business. That's rude.

[knaval]

[he sighs, smiling a little.]

I know you wouldn't.

[adamantlyardent]

[eh? really?

Cecelia feels a beat of surprise...and. delight? pride? it's weird, but...nice to be trusted. weird, though; she's not sure she's proven herself??]

Well...well good. [she goes back to the stove to get her own mug of tea.]

If you find you enjoy that stream-of-consciousness type of writing to vent, perhaps we'll find you a proper journal.

[knaval]

It's-- I mean, it's something.

[he leans back, frowning. unaware of the Big Teen Feels he just caused.]

What do you do, exactly? What do you write?

[adamantlyardent]

Anything I feel like, really. [she leans against the counter, mug in-hand.] My day, expectations, observations, snippets of ideas for stories... I can't even begin to guess how many hours I've spent writing stories for myself, borrowing legendary adventures and giving myself a glorious destiny an-- [she bites down hard with a grimace, shooting a wide-eyed look Riptide's way.

after a beat, clipped:] ...Don't remember that part. Please.

[knaval]

The least I could do is repay the privacy you're giving me, Cece.

[he shakes his head with a sigh, though smiles.]

I've not really read much fiction, you know...

[adamantlyardent]

[he says that, but silly fanfictions of one's self aren't exactly on the same level as war trauma...

so she remains dubious, but obliges his remark anyway, because it's blabbermouth time.]

There's a plethora to try and enjoy. At least, from what I've seen. Not that I can vouch for the quality in this world, but all the same, it seems to be a similar case that humans here are just as keen on the stuff as back where I'm from. Even moreso, perhaps, because of mass production? There are more than I could ever read in my lifetime in one store alone.

[knaval]

Yeah, I-- don't really like going into bookstores. I feel like people know, y'know?

[he exhales.]

Why do you like grand adventure so much? I feel like I'd rather just read about some people having a nice time hanging out.

[adamantlyardent]

[her eyes wince. ah. right. the...reading, writing thing...she gets it.

shrugging, looking off to the side:] People having a nice time out doesn't really get a girl's heat racing, you know? I read fiction for entertainment, and sometimes you need a bit of drama for a thrill. It's fun to imagine the struggle, makes the happy end even more satisfying...

[knaval]

[he thinks for this for a moment, then nods.]

I get it. Happy ending where the girl gets to finally go home, right?